Christian Picciolini is an Emmy Award-winning director and producer, a published author, a TEDx speaker, and a reformed extremist.  He is the co-founder of Life After Hate, a non-profit organization dedicated to finding long-term solutions that counter racism and violent extremism.  His latest book is titled White American Youth: My Descent into America’s Most Violent Hate Movement – and How I Got Out.

 

Some interesting insights from this episode:

  • “Hatred is born of ignorance. Fear is its father and isolation is its mother.”
  • Hear about the tactics hate groups use to recruit.
  • The birth of his children was the impetus he needed to reprioritize his values and walk away from his former life.
  • The first step in counseling others to leave the extremist movement is just listening.
  • The people who join the extremist movement aren’t generally swayed initially by their philosophy. Most are just searching for identity, community and purpose.
  • Learn how the African American who forgave him for the physical violence he once caused was the trigger that gave him the courage to tell his story to the world.
  • The way we can help is to show compassion to those who deserve it the least because those are the ones who need it the most.
  • “Excellence is being the best human being that you can be.”

 

Show Notes

Christian’s book: White American Youth: My Descent into America’s Most Violent Hate Movement – and How I Got Out  https://www.amazon.com/White-American-Youth-Americas-Movement/dp/0316522902/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1515354532&sr=8-1&keywords=christian+picciolini

Christian’s website: www.christianpicciolini.com

Christian’s one on one talk with Richard Spencer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U5zCbwFizA

Nik Wallenda is an acrobat, daredevil, high wire artist and author.  He is known for his high-wire performances without a safety net.  He holds nine Guinness World Records for various acrobatic feats but is probably best known for walking a tightrope stretched over Niagara Falls.  He is the author of a book entitled: Balance: A Story of Faith, Family and Life on the Line.

 

Some interesting insights from this episode:

  • “Life is on the wire and everything else is just waiting.”
  • “Fear is a choice and it’s up to us to decide whether we’re going to allow that fear to enter our mind or not.”
  • “I’d rather live free doing what I love and what I have passion for than to live in a bubble.”
  • “I consider a negative thought like a weed growing in the garden. If you don’t pull the weed out, it will eventually take over the garden.”
  • “Whatever you’re facing in life, whether physical, mental or emotional, anything is possible.”
  • “Every negative experience has led me to where I am today.”
  • “Excellence is the way we treat the everyday person, whether we like them or not.”

Morten Andersen is a former professional football kicker who spent most of his career with the New Orleans Saints and Atlanta Falcons.  He played in a record 382 games during his 25 year career and is the all-time leading scorer in NFL history with 2,544 points.   In 2017, he was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.  These days Morten is a motivational speaker and also oversees his family foundation.  He resides in Atlanta, GA.

 

Some interesting insights from this episode:

  • As an exchange student, he never intended to stay in the United States for more than a year but when he tried out for the high school football team on a whim, he made the team which led to a full scholarship at Michigan State which led to one of the greatest NFL careers in history.
  • The goal is to practice enough so you can get to a level of “unconscious competence”.
  • He had to swallow a “humility pill” after he hit a performance plateau and hire a team of experts to get him back to a high level and extend his career many years.
  • He kicked on 8’ goalposts during practice so come game time, he would have a much easier time executing with 18’6” goal posts.
  • As an athlete, all you can control is effort and attitude. Everything else is white noise.
  • If you focus more on the process than the results, the results will follow.
  • His sports psychologist introduced the idea of “goal windows” which altered his mindset about how to measure performance and hence, how to feel successful.
  • He had his best year statistically over his 25 year career in his final season at the age of 47.

Doug Ammons is a scientific editor and researcher, a business owner, an accomplished author and filmmaker and a classical guitarist. But what he’s most known for is being an extreme kayaker.  He’s run several first descents in the US and overseas and soloed multiple challenging class v runs that most people would never touch, most famously the Grand Canyon of the Stikine.  Because of his many incredible kayaking accomplishments, Outside Magazine has named him one of the ten greatest adventurists over the last century. He has degrees in mathematics and physics and has a PhD in Psychology.

 

Some interesting insights from this episode:

  • Kayaking extreme waters safely requires relaxation but also hyper awareness.
  • Learn why it’s important to have a “beginners mind”.
  • Water is the ultimate metaphor for life.
  • Why he takes extraordinary risks by soloing class v rapids.
  • The “Red Bullying” of America is bad for the sport.
  • If you could control everything in your life, life would be pretty boring.

 

Hearing Doug Ammons opine about water being the ultimate metaphor for life, you’d think you’re listening to a philosophy professor, not one of the most distinguished adventure athletes over the last century. Then again, this is no ordinary adventure athlete.  This kayaker, who holds dozens of first descents on treacherous Class V rivers, also holds a PhD in psychology and double degrees in math and physics.

At first blush, Doug may appear to be a study in contrasts.  His thirst for running incredibly dangerous rapids that could crush you juxtaposed with his intellectual curiosity and thirst for knowledge and meaning.  But that’s not how Doug sees it.  To him, it’s all a continuum.  He is a classically trained guitarist and likes to use music as a metaphor.  He speaks of the fusion of the power, the complexity and the raw emotion of the water with the music that he loves. Kayaking is much more akin to music or even poetry for Doug than it is a thrill-seeking, adrenaline-fueled sport.

But don’t be fooled. While Doug may like to wax poetic about being on the river, elite-level kayaking is an extremely demanding and potentially catastrophic adventure sport.  Any single wrong move while navigating through explosive whitewater can have fatal consequences. And he knows this reality firsthand.  Doug has lost way too many friends on the water, friends who were highly skilled, experienced and even cautious kayakers.  Doug will be the first to admit the role that serendipity plays in one’s fate on the water.  The difference between life and death can be a matter of inches.  He has had his share of near-death experiences himself.  Even with the best training and most thoughtful planning, you can only control so much.  The river has a mind of its own and cannot ever be tamed.

So what exactly does it take to kayak at the elite level? Years and years of training for starters. Of course, that goes without saying.  But what’s really critical is that you have a “beginner’s mind”, according to Doug.  That is, an openness and readiness to learn something new with each run.  No two rivers are the same and for that matter, no one river ever looks the same with each run.  Running rivers over and over will increase one’s confidence for sure but if that confidence ever turns into cockiness, it’s a recipe for disaster.

The other critical ingredient for success on the water is the ability to be both incredibly relaxed yet hyper aware at the same time.  If you’re too tense, you’re sure to make mistakes.  But you still need to be very focused and able to react without hesitation to whatever the river throws your way.  If there’s one thing that’s predictable about the water, it’s its unpredictability.  That’s what makes it so appealing but so dangerous.

While Doug’s reflective, philosophical nature pushes him far away from the adventure athlete stereotype, there’s a very good reason Outside Magazine named him one of the ten greatest adventurists over the 1900’s.  One could easily make the argument that he has done as much for the sport of kayaking as any athlete has done for any other sport on this planet.  The unexplored runs he conquered and the way he went about them – being the first and being alone – will forever brand Doug Ammons as a pioneer in kayaking and a pioneer in the world of extreme sports.

Kevin Gillespie is a chef, author and media celebrity.  He owns two of Georgia’s hottest restaurants: Gunshow and Revival.  Gunshow has been on GQ’s list of “12 Most Outstanding Restaurants”.  In 2015 he was a semi-finalist for the James Beard Best Chef in the Southeast award.  He was also a semi-finalist for the James Beard Rising Star Chef of the Year award.  He is the author of two cookbooks: Fire in my Belly and Pure Pork Awesomeness.  He was a finalist on the sixth season of Bravo’s Top Chef cooking show and was voted the Fan Favorite for the season.

 

Some interesting insights from this episode:

  • He got accepted to MIT but turned it down to pursue his passion.
  • How his appearance on Top Chef turned his restaurant and his career around.
  • Life opens doors for us all the time but we frequently walk right past them.
  • How fame has been a mixed blessing.
  • Learn how he reinvented the entire dining experience with Gunshow.
  • Hear about his plan B if money weren’t an issue and he could do anything in the world.
  • If you make great food and put smiles on customer’s faces, that’s success.

 

Some kids watch cartoons on TV.  Others watch sports.  But on most days you could find the young Kevin Gillespie glued to the TV watching any number of cooking shows.  There was something mesmerizing watching the chefs work their magic in the kitchen.  His passion for cooking only grew more intense through the years to the point where he recognized that this was more than just a passion – it was a calling.  A calling so strong that he was able to turn down one of the most prestigious universities in the world – M.I.T.  Had he listened to his parents or his friends or his teachers, he’d probably be a nuclear engineer today.  But fortunately he had the good sense to turn inward and listen to his heart.  And that’s how he knew that the only engineering he’d be doing in the future was in the kitchen.

The restaurant Kevin Gillespie was running at the time – Woodfire Grill – was struggling to fill seats and had only a month’s worth of cash left in the bank when he got that auspicious call from one of the producers of Top Chef.  He wasn’t really seeking the spotlight but he decided to throw caution to the wind and give it a shot.  His well-received appearance on the 6th season of Top Chef would turn his restaurant, his career and his life around.

Kevin was voted the fan favorite on the show from that season which soon translated into his being a fan favorite in Atlanta’s restaurant scene.  Woodfire Grill went from having half empty dining rooms to being booked solid months in advance.  Without a doubt, his celebrity status helped fill seats but the show did something for Kevin which was much more impactful.  Without the use of cookbooks or any lifelines, he had to rely entirely on his gut instincts to create recipes on the fly.  He learned how to cook with passion for the very first time in his career which allowed his true personality to surface in his unique culinary inventions.

Gunshow is a restaurant unlike any other.  Describing it as a Brazilian churrascaria-style steakhouse meets Chinese dim sum isn’t quite doing it justice.   In fact, it’s just about impossible to pin down its menu since there is no menu. The food options change on a daily basis and are entirely up to the whims of the chefs.  Whatever they feel inspired by is what you’ll find on the plate that evening.  This novel concept doesn’t just make the dining experience more fun and spontaneous for the guests but for the chefs as well.

Beyond the ever changing menu, Kevin has also completely flipped the service model on its head.  The chefs themselves break down that “invisible wall” to the kitchen and come pitch their inspirations directly to the guests.  After all, who better to explain the vision behind the dish than the very person who invented it.  So the chefs not only make their dishes, they explain their dishes and then they serve their dishes.  It’s a complicated system but they’ve somehow figured out a way to make it work seamlessly.

Kevin’s the most down to earth “celebrity” you’ll ever meet.  He’s finally gotten used to the lack of anonymity that comes with stardom but it’s taken a while.  He was never after fame but is incredibly grateful for the good fortune that has come as a result of it.  He doesn’t take any of his success for granted, recognizing that you’re only as good as your last meal.  And how does he measure success?  It’s not the dollars and cents or the 5 star Yelp reviews one would expect.  It’s much more simple.  If at the end of the day you feel like you gave it your all and had guests leave with huge smiles on their faces, for Kevin Gillespie, that is the definition of success.

 

 

Mandy-Rae is an accomplished freediver based in Vancouver, British Columbia.  She holds 7 freediving world records and 13 national records.  She owns Performance Freediving International where she teaches freediving courses to the general public.

 

Some interesting insights from this episode:

  • Entering a flow state allows you to hyper focus and achieve amazing results.
  • The mammalian dive reflex is a survival mechanism we share with whales and dolphins.
  • Visualization plays a critical role in the pre-dive planning.
  • She views the 14 underwater blackouts including one trip to the ER not as deterrents but as learning experiences.
  • Success is as much mental as it is physical.
  • Working toward achieving ambitious goals should be fun and enjoyable, not feel like a chore.
  • Anyone can be trained to hold their breath for several minutes and dive deep. We all have the potential to push ourselves further than we think possible.

 

What’s so special about holding your breath under water?  Not much if your plan is to dive down 10 feet in a pool while holding your breath for a few seconds. But try going down 500 feet in the ocean while holding your breath for several minutes.  That’s what the competitive sport of freediving is all about.  It’s about as “pure” a sport as you’ll find.  No fancy equipment.  No burdensome rules.  No crowds.  It’s just you and the water and your willingness to see just how far you can push yourself.

So how is Mandy-Rae able to do it?  How is she able to submerse herself to depths fifteen times the pressure we experience on dry land while holding her breath many times the average human breath hold?  It turns out there’s both a physiological component and a mental one.

Let’s start with the physical.  There’s something known as the mammalian dive reflex that humans share with whales, dolphins and most mammalian sea creatures.  It’s essentially a survival mechanism that kicks in the minute you submerse yourself in the water. First our heart rate slows way down which reduces oxygen consumption.  Next, the blood vessels constrict, reducing blood flow to the limbs while maximizing blood flow and oxygen to the most critical organs in the body – the heart, brain and lungs. Finally, the blood accumulation in the lungs acts as a protective barrier, preventing the lungs from collapsing under extremely high pressure.

As with any endurance sport, the physical element is just half the battle, sometimes even less.  The mental toughness is what separates the wheat from the chaff.  It is the mental edge which gives champions like Mandy-Rae the ability to set new world records over and over again.

First there is the pre-dive prep.  For Mandy-Rae, there is a mental shift that occurs from being a land-based human to a marine animal. It’s not just about the physiological transformation but the mental one. In her own words, you must learn to “become part of the water”.  For the next few moments, that underwater world is one in which you must feel very much at home.

Next is the visualization.  Just like with skiers going through an entire slalom race, turn by turn, in their heads before they leave the gate, so too does Mandy-Rae go through an entire dive before she ever submerses herself.  This exercise includes working through potential issues that may arise during the dive so if and when they happen, she’s already dealt with them and can be calm while working through them.

Finally, she enters what is commonly known as the flow state.  This will allow her to focus 100% of her mental abilities on the task at hand.  This will remove all external distractions as well as the internal ones – those voices in our head that give us pause and make us second guess ourselves.   In the flow state, there is no thinking and there is no feeling.  There is just doing.  It’s a hyper-focused mental state that allows her to push herself to the limits and achieve extraordinary results.

Why does she do it?  What drives her to go deeper toward the ocean depths again and again?  For one, it’s fun for her.  She truly enjoys going through the rigorous training and discipline it takes to set a new record.  She likes seeing how hard she can push herself. But just as importantly, achieving something you once thought impossible can be life changing.  She sees this in many of her first time dive students. The breakthroughs they have in the pool change them in profound ways by giving them the confidence to try new things in life and achieve other breakthroughs outside the water.

Mandy-Rae is the first to admit that she has a few physiological advantages that give her a slight edge on her record setting dives.  Her lung volume is larger than average and she’s able to equalize her ears rather easily.  But her confidence, her attitude, her mindset and her belief in herself are the advantages that any of us can share with her.  If there’s something you want in your life and you believe in yourself and apply yourself, there’s nothing holding you back.

 

Raj Raghunathan is a Professor of Marketing at the McCombs School of Business at the University of Texas.  He has also become an expert in the field of happiness.  He is the author of the book If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy.  He teaches an MBA course on happiness as well as a class on the online learning platform Coursera entitled: A Life of Happiness and Fulfillment.  Over 170,000 students have taken the course and it’s consistently ranked as one of the top ten courses (amongst thousands of others).

 

Some interesting insights from this episode:

  • If you’re so smart, why aren’t you happy?
  • Why do we devalue happiness even though we know how important it is?
  • How fear of failure often prevents us from trying things we know would make us happier.
  • How having wealth and status and success can make us happy, yet the pursuit of those things can make us miserable.
  • Once you stop comparing yourself to others and just focus on immersing yourself in your work (or activity), you’ll actually increase your likelihood of success.
  • How we can rewire ourselves to increase our level of happiness.

 

If you’re so smart, why aren’t you happy?  This counterintuitive philosophical question is the aptly named title of Raj’s quintessential book on happiness.  Generally speaking, smart and successful people are pretty good at setting goals and achieving them.  So one would think that if they are able to set goals around wealth and success, they could just as easily set goals around happiness.  But more often than not, they don’t.

So why exactly do we devalue happiness?  Why is it that despite knowing intuitively how important happiness is, we rarely prioritize it?  One reason is what Raj refers to as “Medium Maximization”.  That is, we focus on the means to the end (i.e. money, status) and not the end itself (happiness).  Since we think the money and success will naturally lead to happiness, we end up concentrating all our efforts on the money and success while forgetting about the very reason we were wanting it to begin with.  While the money and success may boost happiness levels initially, those feelings quickly subside in which case we need even greater levels of wealth and power to maintain those levels.  It’s a vicious cycle that repeats itself over and over.

We also have a difficult time articulating what happiness means to us.  And if we can’t visualize the goal in concrete terms, we don’t prioritize it.  So we end up prioritizing those things which are easier to measure (and easier to control) such as money and accomplishments.

Raj also points out that as humans, it’s in our DNA to seek superiority.  In fact, studies show that higher status does indeed enhance the quality of our lives and our happiness levels.  Yet, paradoxically, the actual pursuit of that higher status can backfire and cause us misery.  Tethering your happiness on being superior to others is ill advised.  Instead, if you focus solely on immersing yourself in your work (or hobby or activity), you’re much more likely to enjoy yourself and actually end up being more successful as well.  This “immersion” is what’s commonly known in positive psychology circles as “flow”.

So while we may have a better understanding intellectually why happiness is so elusive, how do we reverse course and become happier people?  Raj offers a few action items:

  • Do the things on a day to day basis that are meaningful and enjoyable. It doesn’t have to be work-related (although that’s ideal).  It can be tennis or guitar or gardening.  Anything that brings you joy.
  • Spend more time on personal relationships. Don’t take your friends and family for granted.  Your interactions with the people you care about in your life are as important as anything else.
  • Build habits that give an internal sense of wellness (i.e. exercise, meditation). Being physically and mentally healthy are essential ingredients to happiness.

As Raj reminds us of the cliché we all know too well, days and weeks will become months and years and next thing you know, you’ll be 70 and regretting your life.  So don’t wait another year or even another day.  Start today.  Take baby steps if you need to.  But take action.  Do something.  Anything.  After all, this is your life.  You deserve to be happy.